Purpose for Sex, Part 6

I am sorry it has taken me so long to get this next post up.  Life has been crazy for us.  I have had 3 speaking opportunities, and I continue to mentor/disciple many young men.  On top of that, we have had a bunch of sickness.  I am not complaining, but when we get sick it is hard to get rid of it (10 people in the same house).  We have had bronchitis, the flu and strep throat go through our house in the last two weeks.  Fortunately, we are now all well physically.  Praise the Lord!

So here we go.

Let’s continue our 7-part series on the “Purpose for Sex”.  We have looked at how “sex is worship”, how “sex is about intimacy”, how “sex demonstrates faithfulness”, how “sex is intended to be a selfless act”, and how “sex is for pleasure”. Today we will look at how “sex produces a Godly heritage”.

Just a few quick reminders: Why am I writing about this? –

  1. Many of the men and students I have helped were not taught the true purpose of sex growing up, either in their homes or in church.
  2. Culture is teaching many false things about sex and its purpose.
  3. If I understand the purpose for sex, then I have a much better shot of understanding God’s boundaries.

7 Purposes of Sex (not saying this is all there is, but these 7 are outlined in Scripture for sure) –

  1. Sex is worship.
  2. Sex is about intimacy.
  3. Sex demonstrates faithfulness.
  4. Sex is intended to be a selfless act.
  5. Sex is for pleasure.
  6. Sex produces a Godly heritage.
  7. God honoring sex can only be heterosexual.

Today’s Post – “Sex produces a Godly heritage”.

Last time we talked about how “sex is for pleasure”.  However, that is not all it is intended for.  Sex is also meant to produce a Godly heritage.  Because we are so fixated on pleasure and selfishness in our culture, this point about sex seems to have been completely lost.  It has been lost in culture for sure, but it has also been lost in the church as well.

In Genesis 1, God commands us to “Be fruitful and multiply”.  There are some Christian married couples who are unable to have biological children.  We have had friends walk through this, and we have watched them experience all kinds of pain through that experience.  We have also watched those friends pursue adoption, and God is allowing them to produce a Godly heritage through adoption.

There are other Christian married couples who simply choose to not have children.  From my perspective, this is selfish and disobedient to God.  God wants us to be fruitful and multiply and produce a Godly heritage.

There are Christian married couples who do have biological children, but from my perspective many couples stop having biological children way too soon.  I am not saying that God wants everyone to have a really big family, but I am saying this.  Muslims in America reproduce about 7 children per household.  American Christians reproduce about 2 children per household.  We need to seek the Lord through prayer and fasting to see how many children the Lord may want us to have to produce the Godly heritage that He desires.

Like we looked at last time, sex is for pleasure.  No doubt!  Just remember this, while married couples are enjoying their sexual relationship, producing a Godly heritage must be a priority along the way.  What does it look like to produce a Godly heritage?  As a follower of Jesus, I have no control over whether my children will follow Christ or not.  However, there are some things I can do to intentionally pursue their heart.

I have 8 children growing up in my home.  I have been a parent for almost 19 years.  The first 12 years of my parenting journey, I was not a very good dad.  I was okay, but I was not great at investing in my children.  I was very selfish, and I was chasing my career.  This was a huge mistake.

I repented to God, my wife, and my children.

There are 3 things my wife and I try to do now to really pursue the hearts of our kids.  When we pursue the hearts of our children, we are laying the foundation of what could be a Godly heritage.  God is responsible for bringing any spiritual growth, but I am responsible for pursuing their heart.

What are the 3 things we do in our home with our children?

  • Relationally Connect
  • Spiritually Invest
  • Appropriately Protect

Relationally Connect –

In 1 Thessalonians 2:8 Paul tells us that people there had become so dear to him that he shared the truth of the Gospel and his very life.  We must share the truth of the Gospel with our kids, but we must also give them our lives.  How do we do this?  We have game nights, movie nights, and watch old shows like “I Love Lucy”.  We date our kids in groups, and we date our children one on one.  We try to do this at least twice a month.  All of this takes a great deal of time, but it is worth it.  This is how we relationally connect with our children.

We don’t just want to give them our lives.  Like Paul, we want to give them the truth of the Gospel.  Christ’s death and resurrection saves me from hell and empowers me to live a life to the glory of God.  Kelly and I want to give our children our lives, and we want to impart the truth of the Gospel to our children.

Spiritually Invest –

Spiritual investment is more than just sharing the truth of the Gospel with our children.  We must live out the Gospel in front of them.

Deuteronomy 6 tells us that we are to love God with everything that we have, and we are to model this for our children.  Producing a Godly heritage requires spiritual investment.  I cannot spiritually invest in my children if I am not loving God with my whole heart.  My wife and I ask the Lord to give us the strength to model this for our kids.  This covers everything from devotional life, career, church involvement, entertainment choices, Kingdom of God investment, etc.

Spiritual investment also includes instruction.  Deuteronomy 6 also speaks of talking to your children about loving God wholeheartedly.  We try to do this in many different ways in our home (reading Bible stories to our younger children, having God/Bible discussions with our older children, praying for our children, etc.).

Appropriately Protect –

In Nehemiah 4, the children of Israel are trying to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem.  They face opposition, so their leader, Nehemiah, has them carry a sword in one hand and a tool in the other.  I think the tools of parenting are relational connection and spiritual investment.  I think the sword for parenting would be us appropriately protecting them.

We live in a very evil world, and it is our responsibility to protect our children from this evil.  We cannot be overprotective, but we do need to protect their hearts as much as we can.  As a general rule we try to protect from that which is evil.  We don’t try to protect our kids from pain.  At least we try not do this.  Pain is one of the greatest agents God uses to conform us into His image.  Don’t protect from pain.  Protect from evil!!!!

Like I have said throughout this blog, connecting and investing in our children does not guarantee that we will produce a Godly heritage, but it does put their heart in the best place to hear from the Lord.  Let them hear from the Lord, and let Him draw our kids to Himself.  I would much rather they be children of God than children of Josh and Kelly.  Only He can change their heart.

May we enjoy sex in the context of Biblical marriage!  May we experience all kinds of pleasure doing sex this way!  But may we remember to use sex to help produce a Godly heritage for Gods Kingdom.

Kelly and I believe with all our heart that our children are the greatest investment we can make in the Kingdom of God.  Through them, we have a chance to produce a Godly heritage.  To not see that sex makes this possible is to limit God’s purpose for sex.





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