Sexual Sin Recovery, Sex is Sacred! (Part 6)

 

Let’s continue looking at the Sexual Sin Recovery and Sex is Sacred pages from my site.  These pages cover principles that apply to all aspects of life.  Life is sacred and is all about worshiping and glorifying Jesus!  There is freedom from idolatry no matter what that idolatry is, and that freedom comes only from the Messiah, Jesus Christ!  We must pursue Him and Him alone!

Sexual Sin Recovery

Reminder: the road to freedom is not an easy one. It can take close to a year or even longer. In reality the road to freedom is a lifelong journey.

Let’s take a look at what our previous posts have covered:

Books to Read

Surfing for God

Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children

Girls Uncovered: New Research on What America’s Sexual Culture Does to Young Women

Counterfeit Gods

Romans 1-8, Ephesians 1-3, Colossians 1-2

First 30 Days of Recovery:

  • Read Psalm 51 and repent your sin to God.
  • Confess to those in your life that you have hurt because of your sexual sin.
  • Find a mentor to meet with who understands how to walk in freedom from sexual sin.
  • Sponsor – Contact this person daily to check in so they can hold you accountable.
  • Sexual Sin Inventory
  • 30 day Media Fast
  • 30 minute Escape Plan when tempted

Today we will look at 1 more thought on recovery:

Put Filters on all Internet Devices (costs around $5 to $10 a month, prevents exposure).  I recommend: covenanteyes.com

Filters are not fool proof, and quite frankly the porn companies are smarter than the filter companies.  However, that does not mean I don’t need a filter.  Look at a filter like a fence or an alarm system for your house.  They do not prevent crime, but they do not make it harder for the crime to occur.  Internet filters make it to where there is one more fence to jump over in giving into the temptation to look at porn.

The thing I like about the filter is that you can have it set up to where every web site you go to gets emailed to someone else.  This is a great way for men or women to do accountability, and it is a great way for parents to check in on their kids’ internet activity.

I also like that the filter allows you to select the settings you want.  Obviously, you can block all adult content, but it also allows you to block other questionable material as well.  You get to pick the settings for how strict you want the filter to be.

The complaint against filters is that it slows down your internet speed.  This is true!  It does slow down your speed.  The other complaint is that at times it causes your screen to freeze, or it at least pause your internet activity temporarily.  This is also true.  At times that does happen.  In fact, when I was writing this blog, it happened.

There is no doubt that is annoying, but don’t I want to have filter systems in place to protect me from evil?  Don’t I want have filter systems in place when protecting my children?

Psalm 141:9 says, “Keep me safe from the traps set by evildoers, from the snares they have laid for me.”  

I think putting internet filters on your internet devices help with keeping us safe from traps and snares of the forces of darkness.

I will take the annoyance to keep me and my family safe!  What about you?

One more thing: Let me explain how this works with smart phone devices.  Covenant Eyes basically serves as your web browser.  You must delete all other apps that connect to the internet (example: safari, etc.).  Also, you need to be careful on your child’s phone.  If they have apps that connect to the internet, then they can surf the web that way.

I recommend shutting down all apps that have internet access (twitter, etc.).  Not kidding, even the Bible app.  Why?  One can surf the web freely without accountability through these other internet capable apps, but if they go through the Covenant Eyes app, then the internet content is recorded and emailed to whoever the person is on that account.  You can still read your Bible online via the Covenant Eyes web browser.  You can still check twitter account and send out tweets.  It is just not as convenient.

Why is this so important?  We don’t want to trust our flesh.  We want to long for accountability.  We want our kids to know they can’t trust their flesh, and we want them to long for accountability.

The filter can be annoying, but it is a great way to avoid temptation.  Don’t we want this in our own lives?  Don’t we want to model this for our kids?

One last thing:  I need to make a disclaimer.  I am not the most tech savvy person.  The above information I am sharing is the best to my knowledge about smart phones and smart phone web browsers.  I don’t own a smart phone, and I think many guys who have had past porn struggles should not own them.  Why?  The same reason you put on internet filters (to avoid temptation!).  I make the disclaimer about being non tech savvy for this reason.  If I am wrong, please comment on this blog to tell me.  If there is a better way, please comment on this blog to tell me.  I will update this blog post with the most accurate information.  I am just sharing my understanding of how it works to get us all to think through how to best use internet filters to help us all avoid temptation.

 

 

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Sexual Sin Recovery, Sex is Sacred! (Part 5)

Once again I will continue my blog posts looking at my Sexual Sin Recovery and Sex is Sacred pages from my site.  The principles from these pages on my site don’t just apply to the sexual arena. They apply to all aspects of life.  Life is sacred and is all about worshiping and glorifying Jesus!  There is freedom from idolatry no matter what that idolatry is, and that freedom comes only from the Messiah, Jesus Christ!

Sexual Sin Recovery

Reminder: the road to freedom is not an easy one. It can take close to a year or even longer. In reality the road to freedom is a lifelong journey.

In our recent posts, we have focused on confession (confession to God and others) and finding both a mentor and sponsor to walk with you on the journey.  We have also recommended great books to read.  We have talked about how to do a sexual sin inventory, and we have talked about the importance of starving the flesh with a 30 day media fast.  In this post we will focus on the 30 minute escape plan.

30 Minute Escape Plan –

I don’t necessarily understand this, but I am told the primary chemical releases in the brain related to pornography are adrenaline and dopamine.  I am also told that when those chemicals start firing, then it can feel very hard to resist temptation.  It is not just the forces of darkness attacking.  It is not just what culture tempts us with.  It is not just what our flesh desires.  If we have trained ourselves to respond to sexual sin, then literally we have a physiological problem when we are sexually triggered.  The forces of darkness, culture and our flesh are hard to fight.  Retraining our brain how to respond is without a doubt as hard, if not harder.  Based upon what I have been told by guys smarter than me, it takes about 20 to 30 minutes to calm those levels of dopamine and adrenaline down.

How do we do this consistently?

The Bible offers us a road map on how to do this.

  1. Romans 12:2 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 – I am not conformed to the world, but I allow myself to be transformed by renewing my mind.  I realize that my temptation is not unique to me, and God has provided a way of escape.  I must choose to take it and let Him transform me and renew my mind.
  2. Example of Joseph-I can renew my mind by following the example of Joseph in Genesis 39.  Joseph literally fled.  He ran away from sexual temptation.  I can renew my mind, I can retrain my brain how to respond to temptation if I will do what Joseph did.  I must leave!  I must flee!  If I have 30 minutes to flee, then I get out of there for 30 minutes.  If I have 5 minutes, I take 5 minutes.  If I have 30 seconds, then I take 30 seconds.  The bottom line is that I leave.  I must flee.
  3. When I leave I contact my mentor of sponsor (see more on this in previous posts) and let them know I am tempted and that I am fleeing.  This helps us live in the light with our struggle.  This helps us fight with the body of Christ and not fight on our own.
  4. This is going to sound crazy, but when you leave/flee, you must try to exercise (preferably walking or jogging).  Why?  Again, I am told by those who know way more than me about this stuff that when I walk or jog my right brain and left brain connect with one another.  What I cognitively know to be true in my left brain, I can begin to experience in my right brain.  Example: I know God loves me because of the cross of Christ, but I am not experiencing that.  I feel like escaping into something that will make me feel better, but it really will not satisfy.  Only God will satisfy.  I go on this walk or jog and my left brain and right brain start communicating.  It is possible that what I know to be true about God I begin to experience as I walk or jog.
  5. Which leads me to this last point.  I can’t just leave/flee.  I can’t just contact my mentor or sponsor.  I can’t just exercise.  When I start walking or jogging, I must choose to connect with Jesus.  I can walk and pray.  I can jog and listen to the Word or worship music.  The bottom line is that I must try to connect with Jesus.  Connection may just be normal conversation.  It could be crying out to God from places of anger and sadness.  Regardless, when I flee temptation to bond with sexual sin, I must then bond with the only one who can really satisfy, Jesus Christ! (Jeremiah 2:13 and John 6:35)

We can rewire our brain.  We can fight the forces of darkness.  We can fight the culture.  We can fight our flesh.  We must choose to flee and run to Jesus EVERY TIME we are tempted!

Let us purpose in our heart to do this!!!