Children and Pornography

A friend of mine emailed me something last week from the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.  I thought I would post it on my blog.  It is just a reminder to us as parents to be vigilant in spiritually protecting the hearts of our children:

CYPU’s Digital Kids’ Initiative

Phone: (717) 361-8429

Fax: (717) 361-8964


For additional information on children, teens and pornography, visit the Center for Parent/ Youth Understanding’s Digital Kids Initiative at

CPYU grants permission for this article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.

Children and Pornography

Pornography: Some facts

• 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to Internet pornography before the age of 18

• The average age of first exposure to Internet pornography is 11

• 70% of boys have spent more than 30 consecutive minutes looking at online pornography on at least one occasion. 35% of boys have done this on more than ten occasions.

• 23% of girls have spent more than 30 consecutive minutes looking at online pornography on at least one occasion. 14% have done this on more than one occasion.

• 34% of Internet users have received unwanted exposure to sexual material

• Only 3% of boys and 17% of girls have never seen Internet pornography • One poll indicates that 50% of evangelical Christian men and 20% of evangelical Christian women are addicted to pornography

What is pornography?

Here are two very helpful definitions of “Pornography” written from a biblical perspective:

“Pornography is anything we use for sexual titillation, gratification or escape – whether it was intended for that purpose or not.”  – Tim Chester, Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free (Intervarsity Press, 2010)

“Pornography is anything that the heart uses to find sexual expression outside of God’s intended design for relational intimacy. It is anything that tempts or corrupts the human heart into desiring sexual pleasure in sinful ways.”  – “Living in a ‘Porn is the Norm’ Culture” (

What are the effects of pornography on children and teens?

• An exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society. . .the belief that “everyone’s doing it” and “this must be normal”

• The abandonment of the hope of remaining sexually monogamous

• Belief that sexual promiscuity is natural and normal

• Belief that sexual abstinence and sexual inactivity are abnormal and unhealthy

• Belief that marriage is sexually confining • A lack of attraction to family and child-rearing

• Negative and/or traumatic emotional responses

• Earlier onset of first sexual intercourse

• The commodification of sex and the sexual objectification of persons

• Increased acceptance of sexual perversions (bestiality, group sex, bondage, etc.) as normal

When you discover your child has accessed pornography…

1. Control your anger.

2. Go after their heart, not their behavior.

3. Keep a discussion going about biblical sexuality.

4. Examine your own heart. Are you living God’s design for your own sexuality?

5. Block the doors. Take steps to restrict access and choices, while engaging them in ongoing accountability.

6. Don’t let up or give up. Shepherd them forward in their spiritual lives with the goal of heart change.

7. Evaluate whether or not outside counseling is necessary or beneficial.

– “My Kids Have Looked at Porn! What Do I Do Now?” –

Copyright © 2014 Center for Parent/Youth Understanding | |





  1. understand that shame is not from God. Satan brings the sin and then brings the shame and guilty. God loves you for you and not what you, or your child, have done.

    The numbers are staggering. What frustrates me is that church are not actively going to war on this subject. Sometimes you might get a preacher or speaker make reference to porn but hardly ever does he go straight at it. Or if they do it is not at the heart issue but rather, “stop looking at porn on the internet” speech and puts a certain level of shame on the kids who don’t know how to get out of the cycle.

  2. Daryn,

    Thanks for your reply!

    I greatly appreciate you emphasizing that shame is not from God. Yes, the numbers are staggering. Let’s commit together to pray that God’s kindness would lead the churches in our nation to address this issue with great courage and conviction!

    Let’s keep running to Jesus together!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s